It has been over a year since I posted. In that time I have continued raising two amazing boys, fallen into a depression, worked my way out of a depression, worried over the health (both mental and physical) of my husband, watched him slip into a depression, had a small marital crisis, went through the heartache of having my best friend move 1700km away, and if that wasn’t all enough, went through the diagnosis, treatment and ultimate death of my dad due to brain cancer.
Now that I have written all of that out, I am amazed that I made it. But I did, and not only that, I feel like my life has expanded. Like I have taken my first step on a rainbow that leads to all of my dreams. I feel like my insides are going to vibrate right out of my chest!
Last year my dad was diagnosed in January and went into surgery on the 26th. Having already gone down this road once with my mom, I knew that Dad was going to need us a lot. I knew that anything I put in my garden would suffer if I didn’t keep it super simple. So I bought anything I couldn’t direct seed. I didn’t even fill my beds. There were at lease 6 4×8 beds that sat empty. But what I did plant grew and as the summer went on and I started feeling better. I harvested plenty of herbs that I dried and have started making medicine out of. I am taking an online corse on herbal medicine and it is so exciting and invigorating. I love making medicine for my family. I have always been a tea drinker and my love of tea has grown exponentially. And now, something that I have always believed about emotions and how they impact our health has literally fallen into my lap. It feels like a sign, if you believe in that kind of thing. It feels like I have been given a gift. A way to help people. People that might not be helped from anything else.
But I know this, I have work to do. I have to wash fear from my being. I must remember gratitude in all I do, and I have to learn to trust myself. I know I can help people, I am feeling a stronger and stronger desire to help people. I have to help people, and I must nurture myself. For if I am not healed how can I facilitate healing? So to the garden I go. It is my therapy and my place to recharge.
This year I have finally set up the grow light system I have been wanting for years. I have flats of veggies starting to poke their little green sprouts above the soil, and I am feeling energized like never before.
Take care and see you soon.